do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
