12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
