Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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