he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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