i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
