she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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