if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
