Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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