hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
