Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Michael Bay diarrhea
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
