honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
