Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
