duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
