After last night, I could never be a politician.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
