My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My balls are so social today.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
