i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
