I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
