hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
