Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
