should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
