do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
