Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
