During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
