Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
