apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
