I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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