There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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