It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I fill condoms, not promises.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
