I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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