office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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