That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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