For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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