I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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