all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
