how can u be prego again
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
