i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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