You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
