Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
