Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
