new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
