My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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