I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
