Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
