he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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