I am puke
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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