I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
