dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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