Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
