i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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