And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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