i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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