I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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