She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
