i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
